FOR THE LAST TIME I WASN’T FLIRTING WITH LYDIA, OKAY?
OH MY GOD. YOU HAVE SO MANY ISSUES.
ALSO, I AM NOT CLEANING ANY OF THAT SAND OUT OF YOUR SNOUT. YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME.
This is important. Stop big cat hunting. This literally is making me cry.
The way the lion tries to shut out the light…
:Why would you shoot it?
I cannot think of any reason to kill a Lion. You don’t eat it. It’s a waste.
That buzzfeed post (where the photos are from) was absolutely perfect to explain how fucking horrible and pointless and just so irresponsible this woman is.
Since then people - who are just as enraged as me but know a bit more - have explained to me that she is allowed to hunt on the territory BECAUSE she gives tuns of money to the state… which is also money for preservation?
The mind, it boggles it.
This world we live in can be so mindblowingly fucking stupid, I can’t even.
Administration, we can all rest a little bit easier tonight. Yesterday at approximately 17:00 hours, a one Mr. Rooster Monkburn was successfully disarmed when a TSA agent confiscated the monkey sock puppet’s two-inch, vaguely gun-shaped piece of plastic—and then threatened to call the police.
The offending accessory.
It all started when Phyllis May of Redmond, Washington attempted to smuggle the stuffed, armed primate through security on her way from St. Louis to Seattle. Immediately identifying the threat, the agents on duty stepped into action and pulled Mr. Monkburn’s carrying case from the conveyor. The jig, it seems, was up. “I realized, oh my god, this is my bag,” May told KTVB-TV.The exchange that then took placewas—and this cannot be emphasized enough—absolutely phenomenal:
May said the TSA agent went through the bag, through the sewing supplies and found the two-inch long pistol.
"She said ‘this is a gun,’" said May. "I said no, it’s not a gun it’s a prop for my monkey."
"She said ‘If I held it up to your neck, you wouldn’t know if it was real or not,’ and I said ‘really?’" said May.
The TSA agent told May she would have to confiscate the tiny gun and was supposed to call the police.
"I said well go ahead," said May. "And I said really? You’re kidding me right, and she said no it looks like a gun."
"She took my monkey’s gun."
Let’s hear that one more time.
I said no, it’s not a gun it’s a prop for my monkey.
And with that, we celebrate one more victory for freedom.
TSA Security Theater.
LOOK AT THAT FUCKING SMILE THOUGH
2014 is so close I can almost taste the Croatoan virus.
Dear Mom and Dad,
This is what happiness looks like. Sorry you were so miserable in your own lives that you couldn’t allow me a chance at my own. I went out and found it anyway. I miss you, and will miss you even more this holiday season since you won’t allow me to come back home unless I have a woman on my arm. Oh by the way, we’ll still be using the family recipe for the stuffing, I’m sure it’ll be a hit with our friends.
Your son, his boyfriend, and our spoiled cat
this deserves a million notes omfg